My new computer is assembled and my internet experience awaits.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to use it. Honestly, my motivation for buying my computer was to return to writing and to record and mix my own music. I have a fantasy that I will use the computer to meet new people, but this fantasy is mixed with a fear that it is a fallacy. Back in the days of Xanga, I could stroll around a writing community and drop a flirty comment or two and gradually develop friendships and meet new people. But all the internet seems to offer these days is shallow internet dating and sites that claim to be run by humans, but are really repositories for memes and pictures. I just don’t feel connected to the place.

It doesn’t help that my mental notion of the internet is from the 1990s. I miss the idea of “surfing” the internet; the idea of endlessly following links to content, backing up, and clicking new links. For the length of a generation, people now “search” the internet, but I just sit and stare at Google’s blinky cursor as it eagerly awaits my question, but I’m too apathetic, too uninterested, to make a query.

The truth that I must accept is that I have been reborn. I am a child and I need to play with the internet in order to discover how to use it again. My hope is that I discover more human people and fewer corporate people.


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