Week 42, 2015

I am somewhat happy this week is drawing to a close and my life is returning to normal. I’ve had nightmares all week and I’m ready for that to end.

In Real Life

I was in Arizona last weekend to meet someone I’ve always wanted to meet named Amanda. She is a person I met online 10 years ago at a time in my life when I was struggling to build necessary social skills. She is like my reflection across the gender axis. We think in the same way and we feed off of each other. She is a really talented and inspirational person. Honestly, she is my hero and my idol, in a way.

I have had some terrible luck meeting people out of town, including a scarring encounter in North Dakota a few years ago where I had to break into a house to steal my things back and high tail it out of town at 4:00 in the morning. Getting stood up is a standard worry and my trip was not refundable. Alas, Amanda is my hero for a reason. We met up and I had the spiritually reinvigorating encounter that I needed. I kept a personal journal of the trip, so I need not repeat details here. When reading my journal, I found that it was the opposite of a tragedy; starting at the low point and ending happy. I don’t want to call it “comedy” because it wasn’t intended to be funny.

In equivalently happy news, my girlfriend Nivi is back. We are dating again and we reconnected as soon as my plane landed back in Minnesota. The only shame this week is that my body struggled to reacclimate to home. It was a week of muscle aches and cold sweats, which sucked.

In Dream Spaces

The night after Nivi and I got back together, I had a dream that we were in the Phoenix valley and there was a huge wildfire burning through the city. I was racing around town to escape the toxic smoke and get to higher ground. I woke up several times that night when the fire got me, only to fall asleep again and have us be in a different part of town going through the same ordeal. I felt miserable the next day.

Last night, I dreamt that I was having breakfast with my Dad and having a jolly, drunken morning when I got a call from my boss. She was wondering why I didn’t show up to work that day. I was horrified, so I went home, got ready and went to work hungover at 2:00 in the afternoon. The sun was starting to set and I promised that I would stay late that night to make up the time; until about 9pm. Near sunset, I woke up in my dark room. Before work. Again, another miserable experience.

I forget what other nightmares I’ve had this week, but it has not been all that great. I suspect one of the sources, in addition to the travel, is the fact that Amanda and I went on a really scary roadtrip the last night of my Arizona trip during a new moon and we scared eachother pretty good.


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